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| Cakes by Cynthia: http://www.delightsbycynthia.com |
According to my doctors
up at a central London hospital (NHS), I have three days to go until my fourth
baby is born. They calculated my 'due' date by asking me some cyclical
questions and coming up with answers on a cardboard speed dial date calculator
thingy and by giving me a scan at twenty weeks. Neither of these fact detectors
strike me as exact science, particularly since, in the past, I've known darned
well exactly when I fell pregnant and my date did not tally with theirs by
three days. Nonetheless I was subjected to an agonising twenty-four hour
induction sans an epidural (too freaky to be paralysed when giving birth)
followed by a graphic aftermath that I will protect my male readers from
visualising.
On that, first occasion, the consultants at the Royal Free, who
just happened to be trialling a new induction procedure, told me that they
would not be responsible for the outcome based on my decision. This sounds
reasonable, but they made it clear to me what they wanted me to understand that
outcome was to be. Meantime, the midwife urged me not to let the consultants 'bully
me' into being induced. The thing is, given that it was my first child, they
did scare me. The three-step procedure, (again I will spare you the details)
was pretty brutal because my son was just not quite ready to come. On two
occasions, things became quite dangerous for him and for me. Afterwards my son
and me fell into an exhausted twelve-hour sleep. What newborn sleeps for twelve
hours? It took me a very long time to heal from that one and I remain convinced
that if they had just let me go another couple of days, my son would have been
born naturally.
Of course I am grateful that the outcome was a beautiful, healthy
child, but the point is, I felt I was denied the natural, beautiful experience
birth can be, because I was so highly interfered with. At the UCL with baby two
and three I was also induced, though with my second, my daughter, I managed to
have the serene, quiet, calm experience I had wanted before despite the twelve
hour induction that I was again pressed to have. My last experience - nineteen
months ago, was horrendous. My second son was on his back and not ready to
come. I had a manipulative, bullying midwife who kept insisting that I have an
epidural. She kept telling me that an epidural was the only way forward for me.
She kept threatening that unless I saw the anaesthetist straight away, he would
be in theatre and I would not be able to have an epidural that I did not want. The implication was that things were going to get worse and then I would be without help.
Twelve hours hooked up to a drip at a forty-five degree angle when you prefer to move around when you are in extreme pain is torturous, but in the end I was frightened enough to agree to the
epidural, though even as I was having it, (which was not straightforward) I was
thinking, that even though the pain of a back to back labour was extraordinary,
I had done induced (artificially induced, and therefore more painful
contractions) for hours on end (twelve before, more previously) on two other
occasions and if only I had been able to talk to a doctor first, to find out
whether I had other pain relief options, I could have persevered. Afterwards
she said that perhaps she should not have pushed me into having it. I was flabbergasted.
And bloody annoyed frankly. Again, the incompetent aftermath left me with a
legacy that I am still suffering with.
Anyway, I have been told at my third London hospital (nameless for
now!) that they will want to induce me on Sunday - my 'due' date. I meet with
the doctors today and intend to ask for a reprieve of at least a few days in
the hopes that I may, just this once, have a natural birth. So far the staff
have been lovely. Obviously if they convince me that the baby or me are in
mortal danger, I will probably succumb. Meantime, if you are reading this,
please pray new little chap arrives without interference! Also, please let me
know what you have experienced regarding the forty weeks and induction, I do
love hearing back from people.
